Too fat, too old, too short—How negative self-talk impacts your self-esteem and self-confidence

Are you putting yourself down? Do you find yourself entertaining negative self-talk on a regular basis? Do you feel you are “too fat,” “too short,” or “too old,” and as though it is a constant battle to compete at work with other women who are younger, thinner, and taller?

Negative self-talk is way too common

As a woman in business myself, I can reassure you that you are not alone. The unfortunate truth is that this is all too familiar. It is all too common to feel uncomfortable in your body and feel that it reflects in your work. Does this struggle hit home for you? Many of my clients express this same sentiment, especially between the ages of 30 and 60, while the body is changing. Often with a changing body comes a shifted image of themselves. And while it’s not always easy to like every part of our bodies and looks, getting stuck on negative self-talk can bring down your self-esteem and confidence in group settings.

Why your self-esteem matters

Having high self-esteem directly impacts how impressive we see someone. The most expensive designer clothes cannot make you look as good as your self-confidence. Since body image is a big part of self-esteem, the way in which you see yourself is more important than anything else. Accepting yourself the way you are even if it does not fit into some “ideal” the media projects onto women.

It is first important to recognize that your body is your own and that whatever shape or size you are is perfect. Remember all the amazing things your body has done and still does for you. Maybe you’ve had a child, ran a marathon, or even just have the physical ability to get yourself to work and back every day. Never take your physical health for granted. Shift your thought patterns from what is wrong with your body to what is right about it.

Appreciate and accentuate the positives

A good exercise to walk through here is to describe your body to me. But I only want to hear the positives first. Take a moment right now, look at yourself in the mirror and write down at least five positive body traits and things you love about yourself. Do you have beautiful eyes? Strong legs? What is it you can see in a positive light?

If you’re having a hard time here, consider this statistic that researchers have found: you are 20% more beautiful to other people than to the person you see in the mirror every day. When you look in the mirror, you are only seeing your physical form, you are looking for flaws; you are not seeing your magnetic personality, your amazing intellect, your fascinating life experiences, and your impressive achievements.

Now that you have identified five positive traits, how can these be highlighted to make you feel more confident? How can you dress to accentuate the things you love about yourself?

Recognize and camouflage the flaws

And always remember, we all have our flaws. Even the most beautiful people have things they dislike about themselves. Our imperfections are what make us unique and original. So now I would like you to think of some things you don’t like about yourself, and before you’re quick to make a longlist, I only want you to think of one to three.

Now that you have your top insecurities written down, how can you change those things or camouflage them? For example, if you are self-conscious of your double chin, it is not a good idea to accentuate it with a necklace; the same goes for wearing a thick belt if you are self-conscious of your midsection.

And please remember, when you are hard on yourself, you give others the invitation to be hard on you as well. When you honor and appreciate your body, age, gender, or height, those around you will be more likely to see you in the way you want to be seen.

Stop telling yourself you are too old, too short, too “anything.” YOU are who YOU are. Let’s continue boosting your self-confidence and developing a strong sense of self with my 52 weeks of truthdrops. By signing up for these free five-minute reads, you will continue learning exactly how to shape your physical, social, and online presence to encourage confidence and a positive body image!